2022

Another entry for my blog. Years later! So many unfinished dreams. Yet, many accomplished ones. I read a quote today, "Don't worry if you are not where you want to be yet. Great things take time." It's been a journey, and it continues to be one. The challenges have also been a propeller in my life. I have taken bolder steps, some have costed me more than I would have thought and some have liberated me in ways that have made me realize how much of a potential I truly have. I also realize that I like change, and constant change makes me feel like I can reinvent myself and keep breathing and growing new possibilities. I also meet people that I would not have ever met. So grateful! 

I have also created stronger boundaries as I am tired of being taken advantage of. I don't have complete peace and it irritates me that my decisions to be a "savior" to others has impacted me negatively. I don't get it. How can helping someone bring you so much pain? Because I have enabled others, that's why. I wanted to immediately remove barriers that would make their lives easier - but I never thought about sustainable agency - giving others the tools to succeed when I am not around. The work and trainings in this field never prepares us for this. They ask us to help students, to support students, the remove barriers - but at what cost? It is exhausting work and one that I am thinking about finally leaving after almost twenty years in the field. I continue to pray that God protects my journey, and I pray that I can make better decisions when helping others. I love helping others, but I love it even more when others can also be their best life stewards. Giving them the tools and staying true to my boundaries is visible in my life today. 

I have completed another Master's degree - and I am currently done with all of my Ph.D. requirements- and am in the process of completing the requirements for my dissertation. A daily imposter syndrome gets in the way. I need to become MY OWN best steward!